December 2, 2009

I love you!!..I hate you!!

I was reading Kelby's "Guest Blog Wednesday".  Cool guy, Eric Ryan Anderson.  Out of nowhere a statement he wrote hit me like a ton of bricks.  And I had to respond.  Here's a recap of my response....

…”and am rarely happy with my images for more than a week.” I count my happy days in hours…does this value go longer as you get better?

Look, I seem to make people happy in what I deliver and I guess that counts for something.  But how many times, as I aspire in my photography, do I look at my stuff and just want to cry!.. telling myself I need to give up this foolish ambition. For the love of pete, I’m 40 with three kids and a wife and a day job and then trying to run a small photography business on the side with stars in my eyes of likes of Kelby, Zarias, Jarvis and McNally…god do I lament not ever having had the opportunity for internship/apprenticeship! Sometimes I actually get on ebay and start figuring out the starting bid for listing my equipment as the thoughts of my elders ring in my head “Don’t quit your day job!”

I’m in a passionate love relationship with photography that’s as out of control as an Irish Catholic groom marrying a feisty Italian bride. What can I say.

Look, for all those out there who know me, I'm not going to quite my day job.  I love my family and my day job puts food on the table very well.  But the creative side of me didn't emerge until my mid thirties...not an easy time to follow your heart when you already have a family depending on you.  And as much as I HATE that I'm not as good a photographer as I'd like to be, I love photography more.  It's a creative outlet that I just cannot ignore.



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